I found this poem by Pablo Neruda poem about 2 weeks ago and I have been reading and re-reading it ever since. I am trying to stop myself getting into unnecessary and draining arguments with my children about clothes, hair brushing and washing. If anything will help you move the goal posts about appearance this will!
TO WASH A CHILD
by Pablo Neruda
Only the most ancient love on earth
will wash and comb the statue of the children,
straighten the feet and knees.
The water rises, the soap slithers,
and the pure body comes up to breathe
the air of flowers and motherhood.
Oh, the sharp watchfulness,
the sweet deception,
the lukewarm struggle!
Now the hair is a tangled
pelt crisscrossed by charcoal,
by sawdust and oil,
soot, wiring, crabs,
until love, in its patience,
sets up buckets and sponges,
combs and towels,
and, out of scrubbing and combing, amber,
primal scrupulousness, jasmines
has emerged the child, newer still,
running from the mother's arms
to clamber again on its cyclone,
go looking for mud, oil, urine and ink,
hurt itself, roll about on the stones.
Thus, newly washed, the child springs into life,
for later, it will have time for nothing more
than keeping clean,
but with the life lacking.
This is what we have found in the woods in the last week: a badger set (and saw badger one evening but no photo), a poor little weasel who had curled up and died, a rabbit saved unharmed but shocked from soft mouth of our dog, our dog in one of the many old hedgerows we are lucky to have around here and a field full of dandelions, in a meadow like this they are spectacular. Finally the glorious bluebells.
This is what we have found in the woods in the last week: a badger set (and saw badger one evening but no photo), a poor little weasel who had curled up and died, a rabbit saved unharmed but shocked from soft mouth of our dog, our dog in one of the many old hedgerows we are lucky to have around here and a field full of dandelions, in a meadow like this they are spectacular. Finally the glorious bluebells.
The fact is that the issue was never around messy clothes for painting, walking, exploring etc, on that we all agree. When it is time to go to theatre, out to lunch etc, that is when the arguments start. Post Pablo Neruda's advice though I have been allowing anything, however ripped and worn out as long as it has been washed... I wonder how long I will be able to keep this going?
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